You Are Not Your Emotions
Emotions can be intense, confusing, and uncomfortable, especially if we haven’t been taught how to be with them. For many of us, they were labelled as “too much,” “inconvenient,” or even “dangerous” growing up. So we learned to suppress them, deny them, or escape from them.
But here’s something I remind my clients often: Your emotions are not the problem. Disconnection from them is.
Emotions are not random. They’re messengers. They reflect your inner world — your thoughts, beliefs, stories, and nervous system — and they offer valuable insight into where your attention, compassion, and change are needed. They are an invitation to pause and listen, not something to silence or avoid.
Emotions reflect & shape our state of mind
When we feel positive emotions like joy, curiosity, or connection, our nervous system responds with openness and safety. In this state, we think more clearly, make empowered decisions, and gravitate toward experiences that reinforce our wellbeing. There’s flow. There’s trust. And there’s alignment. But when we’re caught in emotions like fear, sadness, anger, or overwhelm, our system shifts into protection mode. We contract. We hesitate. Our thinking becomes foggy, reactive, and self-protective. From this place, we’re more likely to fall back into the habits, thoughts, or behaviours we’ve used in the past to avoid pain (even if those strategies no longer serve us).
For some, that might look like emotional eating, scrolling, isolating, overworking, or people-pleasing. For others, it’s a general sense of shutdown, disconnection, or restlessness.
This discomfort is often a signal that something deeper wants to be seen, acknowledged, or healed. But instead of leaning into the feeling, most people try to escape it which only reinforces the cycle of emotional suppression and internal resistance.
Real Change Begins Inside, Not Outside
Often, when a person says they want to change, their body, relationship, career, or habits, what they truly want is to feel differently on the inside. They want to feel confident, calm, free, or enough. So they focus on external shifts: new routines, diets, appearance, jobs, or locations. But here’s the missing piece:.
If you don’t change the way you think and feel about yourself, your life, and your emotions — no amount of external change will ever feel satisfying.
Transformation isn’t about control. It’s about connection to your thoughts, your body, your truth, and your emotional landscape. When you change your inner narrative, you begin to respond to life differently. And from that space, true and lasting change becomes possible.
Understanding the Language of Emotions, Feelings & Moods
Emotions
These are immediate, chemical responses to a perceived trigger. It takes your brain about a quarter of a second to register a stimulus and another quarter of a second to release emotional chemicals. These chemicals travel throughout your entire body, creating sensations — tightness, heat, shakiness, or lightness. They’re quick, but they’re potent. And they’re here to get your attention.
Feelings
Feelings arise as we start thinking about the emotion. They’re more complex and layered, shaped by our past experiences, thoughts, and meaning-making. While emotions are instinctive and quick, feelings are slower and often last longer. They’re how we interpret what the emotion means to us.
Moods
Moods are the emotional backdrop of our day. They’re not tied to a specific event but influenced by many factors: sleep, hormones, food, environment, relationships, and of course our thinking patterns. Moods can last for hours, even days, and they colour how we perceive and react to the world.
Emotions as Teachers
Emotions can be uncomfortable, especially when we’ve never been taught how to be with them. For many of us, feeling might not have been safe. So we learned to numb, distract, suppress, or overanalyze instead. But here’s the truth I share with every woman I coach:
What you resist doesn’t go away. It stores in the body and leaks into your patterns. That ache in your chest, the overwhelm before you even open your laptop, the constant overthinking or self-sabotage, these are signs your body is holding onto unprocessed emotion. The way through is not force. It’s presence. It’s choosing to slow down, listen, and meet your body with compassion.
How I guide my clients and how I practice it in my own life:
1. Name the Emotion
Start by creating space. Take a deep breath. Ask yourself, What am I actually feeling right now? Sometimes we’re quick to label everything as stress or anxiety, but there’s often more underneath (sadness, disappointment, shame, fear, even grief). If you need support, an emotional wheel can be a helpful tool to identify and name the core feeling.
Why it matters: Naming the emotion activates your prefrontal cortex (the part of your brain that helps regulate), helping your nervous system shift from chaos to clarity. This step alone can begin to soften the overwhelm.
2. Feel the Emotion in Your Body
Now, drop your awareness into your body. Ask: Where do I feel this emotion? What sensations are present? Is there a tightness in your chest? A lump in your throat? A dull ache in your belly? Is it hot, heavy, buzzing, tense, hollow?
This is where your body speaks. Let it. Don’t rush or judge. You’re not trying to “fix” it. This is emotional embodiment in action.
3. Move or Meditate Through It
Emotions are energy in motion. They are meant to move, not get trapped. This is where release happens. And it doesn’t always have to look dramatic.
You might:
Breathe deeply with a guided audio meditation (I offer personalised recordings for clients)
Shake out your limbs to reset your nervous system
Cry
Journal exactly what you're feeling without censoring
Walk in nature or ground your feet on the earth
Sit in stillness with your hand on your heart
In 1:1 coaching, I offer tailored breathwork and body-based meditation practices to help you move through stuck emotional states in a way that feels safe and supported. You're not meant to do this alone and with guidance, it becomes so much more transformative.
This Is Emotional Empowerment
You are not too emotional. You are not broken for feeling deeply. Your emotions are sacred. They’re the language of your inner world. Learning to feel your emotions is not about staying stuck in them. It’s about recognising that your feelings are clues, not enemies. And when you know how to work with them, they become your most powerful allies.
This is the foundation of my work — helping women reconnect with their emotional body, reclaim their inner voice, and feel safe in their own skin again.
Because when you stop running from your feelings and start listening to them, you return to your power.
And from that place, anything becomes possible.
LiivWell 🤍